“I was born for this.”
“I’m the best at that.”
“I always do it perfectly.”
“Everyone looks to me for that.”
“This is so easy, I can do it with my eyes closed.”
But there’s a problem with this way of building self-confidence: we know deep down that these kinds of extreme, black-and-white brags aren’t completely true. And that just ends up adding to our self-doubt.
We aren’t stupid. We know that only one person in the world can truly be the best at something, and odds are, it isn’t us. We know we’ve made mistakes, because we’re human and that’s just what people do. We know it takes hard work to really excel at something, not simply being born.
Here’s the reality that you already know in your gut: The truer something is, the more nuance it will have.
To feel more confident about yourself and your work, you need to be realistic. As Daniel Goleman wrote in his excellent book Working with Emotional Intelligence,
Let’s take a look at three simple, realistic ways you can build self-confidence in your career.
#1: Look for Evidence of Your Abilities
One of the best ways to grow your confidence is to look at your track record and be aware of your strengths.
In fact, self-awareness builds an essential foundation for self-confidence by helping you see who you truly are. That can mean having an accurate view of your skills, performance, strengths, values, and temperament.
The more you know who you are, the easier it is to accept and let go of who you aren’t. That’s how you gain confidence.
Examples of Objective Evidence
Here’s what this might look like in practice. On the left, we’ve got vague overconfidence that leaves us with nagging doubts and can’t get us through the tough times. On the right, we’ve got hard evidence that is both realistic and accurate—two keys for building confidence.
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- Objective facts
- Related to specific events
- Detailed and realistic
- Based on feedback from others
There are lots of ways to gather evidence of your abilities. You might:
- Take a strengths assessment (like CliftonStrengths)
- Keep a running list of your wins
- Review your past work
- Ask for feedback from others
The more aware you are of your strengths and your track record of success, the less you’ll feel the need to brag. Instead, you’ll have a deep sense of confidence in your work and your qualities as a professional.
#2: Learn Something for Next Time
Did you know that 70% of people feel like a fraud at some point in their lives? There’s even a name for the phenomenon: imposter syndrome.
The irony is that the more successful someone is, the more likely they are to doubt whether they truly deserve it.
That tells us that past success isn’t enough to give us full confidence. We will still eventually wonder, “But what about next time? Can I pull this off again?”
You’ve probably faced the same situation over and over again in your career. Maybe your project requires you to learn new software or methodologies. Or your team has complicated dynamics. You have to figure out a diplomatic way to explain something sensitive to your client. The timeline is too short to truly do a good job. You’re in the middle of something and suddenly realize you’re missing info or a key skill.
And chances are, you’ve responded to each of these challenges and learned something new along the way. That’s the wisdom of experience that is so sought-after by employers and clients alike. It’s also part of the foundation for your professional self-confidence.
A Simple Process
Now take that wisdom one step further—and do “future you” a favor. When you learn something, turn it into a finding that you can use for next time.
This is pretty easy to put into practice:
- Take a few minutes to reflect on a recent experience.
- Think about which parts went well and which didn’t.
- Think about what you did that contributed to the situation, for better or for worse.
- Think about how you might have done better.
And boom, there’s your finding for the future! Next, turn it into a simple statement, like:
“Now I know that ______ should be done first whenever ______ comes up, to streamline the process.”
“I’ve learned that I need to make ______ a priority when working under pressure.”
“Going forward, I’ll take time to review ______ whenever a project begins, to make sure I have everything I need.”
“When faced with challenges like ______ again, I’ll get feedback early on, so I can know I’m on the right track.”
“Now I know to ask for ______ when ______ happens, so I can handle it better.”
Make this a habit, and you’ll start to feel more prepared for any situation that’s likely to arise in your work.
#3: Know How to Talk About Yourself
Have you ever heard of an “elevator pitch”? Imagine you’ve got a million-dollar idea. You’re heading upstairs to a meeting, when the CEO of your company steps into the elevator. You’ve got 30 seconds to convince him that your idea is worth investing in before he steps out of the elevator and you lose his attention. What do you say? That’s your elevator pitch: a concise and thoroughly convincing argument.
You can use this same idea to help you build confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Take some time to write up a few summaries of what you have to offer as a professional. They can be general or relate to a specific skill or strength. Follow all the guidelines we’ve talked about: they should be specific, realistic, at least somewhat objective, and related to outside feedback.
Make it a habit to reread your elevator pitches a few times a month. They’ll remind you of the truths you’ve already learned about yourself.
Examples of Personal Elevator Pitches
“Where others see obstacles, I see solutions. Whether it’s coming up with a fresh approach to streamline processes or finding a creative workaround when things don’t go as planned, I can adapt quickly and think outside the box. My colleagues often rely on me when they’re stuck, and I take pride in being someone who helps the team move forward with innovative ideas.”
or
“My ability to synthesize complex data and present it in a way that’s easy to understand is one of my key strengths. I’m good at spotting trends and patterns that others might overlook and enjoy working with teams to translate those insights into actionable strategies. My clients appreciate that I can explain the ‘why’ behind the numbers and help them make data-driven decisions.”
or
“I have a knack for balancing the big picture with the finer details. I’m able to lead teams toward achieving our goals while ensuring that nothing slips through the cracks. People trust me to manage complex tasks and delegate effectively, knowing I’ll keep everything organized and moving forward. I’m also recognized for being someone who takes the time to review everything carefully, which has earned me a reputation for producing high-quality, consistent results.”
Having summaries like these can also help your career. When you’re networking, you’ll have specifics ready to share about your work. In interviews, you’ll be able to build a compelling case for why you’re a great candidate. With your boss, you’ll be ready to discuss your work candidly and confidently—and you’ll be more open to receiving feedback that can help you excel.
Keep in Mind…
In a nutshell, the more you practice, the easier it will get.
This process takes time, so cut yourself some slack. It also helps to be consistent. Try not to fall back into old habits of overconfidence or talking down to yourself. Just keep it real.
Conclusion
As you gather objective evidence, consciously think of how you’ll handle things in the future, and learn how to describe yourself in a positive light, you’ll create a balanced environment where true self-confidence can grow strong.
Try these strategies for a few months and you’ll be amazed at how different you feel—not just about your work, but about your worth as a professional, your potential, and your future.
